A story

This story is completely fictional, any resemblance to real life people is mere coincidence.

This is a synopsis I dreamed about.

This story is about a person has a power to steal anything and everything from anyone just by thinking about it, but the one thing he can’t steal is the heart. He is caught because he had his heart stolen and is locked in a keyless cage. Without his heart, he lost his memories, and he slowly become a living corpse.

But one day in what he thought was a dream, he was carried back out into the world by a group of outcasts who wants to overthrow the tyrannical ruler. To get his heart back, he needs to steal the heart of the emperor’s daughter and make it his own. 

 

Does this sound like a good movie?

I didn’t put any names because I really suck at names.

If you can describe yourself from birth to now, what would you use?

I know many people asked this question before, but I’m adding one extra detail:

This word must consistently describe you from your birth to what you are today.

This makes things much harder, doesn’t it?

Speaking for myself, I have to say I’ve been born an “outlander” from birth.

I pick this word “Outlander” because it occured to me I never was an “inlander”, as I was born in Hong Kong (Inland China, hence the pun).

Outlander also denotes a sense of never belonging, never so rooted in a crowd.

Honestly, I think English is a horrible language and makes the important things too simple. So the word “Outlander” is incomplete; I am so “outlandish” I don’t really belong in any one descriptive word. Of course, my opinion on English is subjective and biased because I understand Chinese, as well as my opinion on my own “outlandish”-ness.

Regarding the language issue, I would rather say “I understand Chinese” than “I am fluent in Chinese” because when I say “I understand Chinese”, I am saying I am so immersed into the Chinese culture it is a part of me.

Yet I am still an outlander.

Yes, I can fit right in, but no, I do not belong there.

This is no mere issue of language or culture either. I feel as though I never really belong to any group of people; I’m always the odd one, not so odd that people avoid me, but odd enough to not belong in the conforming world.

It’s not I don’t want to conform or be like everyone else, but in my observations, people tend to pursue some type of imaginary standard the society, culture, family, has placed on them.

All I like is shiny stuff, and shiny people. That’s my motivation most of the time. When people conform and be like everyone else, they appear to me as mass-manufactured robots. These people have the illusion of being in control, being happy and free, but in reality, they are slaves to the system. This system tells these people what they are supposed to want, what they are supposed to need, and they get those things, but they are worthless in reality.

I think I never gave a sh*t about the system. I simply just don’t care. One of my talent is to completely shut something/someone off. I basically face-palmed the entire system since birth. Except I’ve always liked shiny stuff, and shiny people.

So I like to be shiny as well. When the world is so dull, I have to be shiny, so maybe some of those dull people can become shiny as well, the more shiny people the better.

Is it coincidence this word “Holy” feels really shiny?

The definition of “Holy” is “to be set apart”, which coincides with my definition of “shiny”, which means “to stand out”

I guess that’s why I’ve been attracted to mostly creative and artistic people. When I say “artistic”, I mean “creativity” in certain areas of people’s lives.

It takes an “outlander” to know an “outlander”.

Would I call myself shiny? Yes I would. I can say 95% of the people I know haven’t got to know more than 10% of me.

Because although I am shiny, I am also shy. I’m introverted, but my extroversion (10% of me) overpowers people enough so people think I am extroverted.

That may explain why I am “outlander” , because people simply are too trapped, and it’s hard to see me when my extroversion is that intense when my introversion is even more overwhelming.

Sometimes I feel like a sun: kinda softly glows in the background, but when people stare, they go blind and can’t see anything.

It’s just the way it is since my birth, there hasn’t been anyone similar to me that I have seen. I see bits and pieces of my traits in people, but no one comes close to being similar to me.

I can also see people can become totally shiny too, but they’re enjoying imprisonment too much to care, and also afraid of change.

Location-wise, I’ll always be an “outlander” in the U.S., I’m also an “outlander” to my birthplace Hong Kong, I’m definitely an “outlander” in China, totally “outlander” in Korea, completely “outlander” everywhere else.

Yes, I’m an “outlander” in my family. Everyone is so loud and like to put on a good face and nothing concrete gets done, like most Chinese people. It sickens me, yet they are still my family. One reason I want to avoid Chinese girls. Having one Chinese family is enough.

I choose shiny people as my closest friends, people who stand out in their own way. We are friends because of this commonality: we are all different individuals. While we belong together, we don’t belong together.

There is one exception to this “outlander” thing, but that in essence is “outlander”.

What can be more “outlander” than being a follower of Jesus? than being a Christian?

As a Christian, everyone who does follows Jesus is my brother and sister and mother. It is I mostly belong to and will perfectly belong to when I am finally out of this body I am in.

Christians are called to be the most “outlander” AND the most “shiny”

“Holy” is the word.

I’m so attracted to shiny people; people who stand out just blows me away.

I don’t know if there really is such a person. It might be possible I know her already, but only time will tell. I hope my crush doesn’t last long… I wish it would fade away, unless it’s really going to work out.

I can’t tell yet. I feel like I can only see 10-20%. I want to see the rest sometime before someone else decide to go.

Time really is ticking away.

So damn shiny I wish I didn’t have eyes.

 

 

 

 

Who I was, Who I am, Who I will be

I’m going to use writing to remember who I am, my heritage, who I was, and who I am

Let’s start from birth.

Born in Colonial Hong Kong, as British Overseas Citizen of Her Majesty.

Descendant of the Mak Clan, firstborn of my generation patriarchally.

Kindergarden/Elementary student at an Anglican-affliated public school.

Violinist

Perfect Pitch, Absolute Pitch, Pitch Perfect

Immigrant to the United States,

A foreigner in a foreign land,

One who doesn’t know how to counter “Does your mother know you’re gay?”

A kid at a Chinese Church,

“Jacket-Kid” “Pokefreak” FOB to the max

Pianist

Middle-School, unknowingly teacher’s pet or subconsciously malevolent child?

“Look at Hin, he’s so creative” lolol

“Almost poked his eye out” playing with scissors

Starcraft Orchestrater 🙂

Did I mention saved by Jesus?

High School

Baptized

Secret Admirer for four years lol until I Facebook messaged her

Heartbreaker of 1,2,3,4,5,6? could be more could be less

Choir star

Accompanyist

Keyboardist

Gamer

not so fresh out of boat anymo

US Citizen

Driver

Frenchman

Guitar?

College

Freshman

Floormates

Classmates

Chinatown

the first legit Korean I met who is not too Americanized

Rivalries of Love, probably was only a crush on an imaginary ideal image instead of reality.

Become more Chinese + Taiwanese than ever.

Sophomore

Where did the Koreans come from?

Hyungnim invite Chinese noona, Chinese noona invite me

No crush for a long long time, not even one, completely free.

More and more Chinese, + More and more Korean, + more and more like Jesus

Summer

International Student @ Yonsei

Met someone special, yet not too special looking back

Kimchi-infused, wearing the helmet of bulgogi, breastplate of galbi, shield of jajangmyun, and belt of dukbokgi.

Almost a soonjang?

Almost a voice major?

Almost gtfo of major?

Almost a relationship?

Junior year was a lot of almosts.

Senior

Finishline

Le Presidente de Union de Chinois et Taiwan.

저눈 누구애요?

What is my calling? What can be higher? What’s higher calling?

East Asia it is.

Talk with missionary.

Desire to go.

Worked to make it possible.

Goer

Listener

Messenger

Translater

Master of Ceremonies

Bridge

Singer

Matthew 6:33

Kingdom Seeker

Unemployment

Proverbs 16:8-9

Employment

Intern-ment

Mission-ment -> Thailand -> Blood boiling

Entrepreneur -> Blood boiling

Still Perfect Pitch

Eternity

God’s child

Co-heir with Jesus

Beloved of God

Temple of the Holy Spirit

New Creation

Free