Chinese, or not Chinese

I just watched this movie called Grandmaster, thankfully it’s actually in Chinese, both Cantonese and Mandarin, with English subs. 

I feel so Chinese

and so unChinese because of all the northern + southern Chinese tradition things I don’t dig. 

I’m just a Hong Kongese that happens to have a mix of American, Thai, Korean, British, French, Japanese culture in me. My body is definitely Chinese but I clearly can’t purely identify myself as homogenous Chinese, but I’m more like a mashup nowadays.

Feels funky.

I wished I took kung-fu lessons.

“But you’re too wild” -said to me by my parentals.

If only I had those lessons, maybe I would have an habit of working out and staying fit and be like Bruce Lee.

I’m definitely making my kids grow up to learn those secret arts.

Who I was, Who I am, Who I will be

I’m going to use writing to remember who I am, my heritage, who I was, and who I am

Let’s start from birth.

Born in Colonial Hong Kong, as British Overseas Citizen of Her Majesty.

Descendant of the Mak Clan, firstborn of my generation patriarchally.

Kindergarden/Elementary student at an Anglican-affliated public school.

Violinist

Perfect Pitch, Absolute Pitch, Pitch Perfect

Immigrant to the United States,

A foreigner in a foreign land,

One who doesn’t know how to counter “Does your mother know you’re gay?”

A kid at a Chinese Church,

“Jacket-Kid” “Pokefreak” FOB to the max

Pianist

Middle-School, unknowingly teacher’s pet or subconsciously malevolent child?

“Look at Hin, he’s so creative” lolol

“Almost poked his eye out” playing with scissors

Starcraft Orchestrater 🙂

Did I mention saved by Jesus?

High School

Baptized

Secret Admirer for four years lol until I Facebook messaged her

Heartbreaker of 1,2,3,4,5,6? could be more could be less

Choir star

Accompanyist

Keyboardist

Gamer

not so fresh out of boat anymo

US Citizen

Driver

Frenchman

Guitar?

College

Freshman

Floormates

Classmates

Chinatown

the first legit Korean I met who is not too Americanized

Rivalries of Love, probably was only a crush on an imaginary ideal image instead of reality.

Become more Chinese + Taiwanese than ever.

Sophomore

Where did the Koreans come from?

Hyungnim invite Chinese noona, Chinese noona invite me

No crush for a long long time, not even one, completely free.

More and more Chinese, + More and more Korean, + more and more like Jesus

Summer

International Student @ Yonsei

Met someone special, yet not too special looking back

Kimchi-infused, wearing the helmet of bulgogi, breastplate of galbi, shield of jajangmyun, and belt of dukbokgi.

Almost a soonjang?

Almost a voice major?

Almost gtfo of major?

Almost a relationship?

Junior year was a lot of almosts.

Senior

Finishline

Le Presidente de Union de Chinois et Taiwan.

저눈 누구애요?

What is my calling? What can be higher? What’s higher calling?

East Asia it is.

Talk with missionary.

Desire to go.

Worked to make it possible.

Goer

Listener

Messenger

Translater

Master of Ceremonies

Bridge

Singer

Matthew 6:33

Kingdom Seeker

Unemployment

Proverbs 16:8-9

Employment

Intern-ment

Mission-ment -> Thailand -> Blood boiling

Entrepreneur -> Blood boiling

Still Perfect Pitch

Eternity

God’s child

Co-heir with Jesus

Beloved of God

Temple of the Holy Spirit

New Creation

Free

 

 

 

Weird criteria

Sometimes I wish there is someone who would provoke me to do thing I haven’t even imagined of.

Too many people are stuck in the trap of “normality”, or conformity, herd mentality.

I guess humans are wired like that; does that make me unhuman?

I am no one’s fan, no sports team, no celebrity. I see no role model, I only see bits and pieces of good things and take it, almost like an artist puts pieces together to create something new.

I guess that’s the reason why I’m weird. Or maybe I am not weird, it’s people who call me weird who’s weird.

What makes someone weird?

According to dictionary.com, weird means

1.

involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny: a weird sound; weird lights.
2.

fantastic; bizarre: a weird getup.
I have to admit I am weird then, because I am definitely “unearthly”, meaning I don’t belong in this world.
What is your identity? Where is your citizenship?
When people see me, they see me possibly as Chinese/Japanese/Korean.
When people see my passport, they see me as American.
But that’s just what people say, and it’s true I am those things, but these identities do not last.
My eternal identity is a child of God, citizen and heir of His Kingdom for all eternity.
Definitely unearthly.
I might as well put my criteria for a potential girl I may like, because I’m bored, and I want to write it out. Maybe people will understand why I still don’t have a girlfriend lol.
1. Doesn’t worry, trusting God is in total control, (and this can’t happen without knowing Jesus)
2. Expands my horizons instead of limiting it, saying “why not?” instead of “it’s impossible”.
3. Can stand up to my presence, someone who can kick my ass when my ass needs to be kicked.
4. a.) Skinnier than me b.) Completely okay with me skinnier than her
#1 already eliminates 99% of the girls I know..
Even without #1, #4 destroys candidates about most already.
Good luck to me..
God knows what I need.. so I wait..