Transition

I feel a transition is coming soon. I’ve been in this uncomfortable place for a while now, and there seem to be a new direction coming my way.

Have you ever notice some uncontrollable variables in your life starts to to mold the way you’re living?

I think I’m seeing that.

For a while now, my schedule’s been quite full. I’m seeing the checkpoint of this tunnel. I will soon arrive at a place of rest. I won’t stay there very long, but merely enough to get myself refreshed and prepped for the next stage I’ll be heading towards.

As I’m typing this, I’m fixing my 17inch laptop. Hopefully it’ll work this time around.

There has been so many things in this period where things are just not working the way I want it to work.

Alas, the system recovery failed.It looks like I have to try the safe mode again and repair the start up.

This period of time taught me the importance of actively finding rest.

Rest does not come to you, you have to go for it. Rest is something to be pursued.

Contrary to popular beliefs, rest is a difficult thing to pursue and grasp.

To truely be at rest, one must have be able to ignore worries and solely rest.

In school or work, modern society made them very pushy and made people unable to rest.

I’m repairing my computer again, hopefully it’ll work this time around.

Rest is so good. It lets one think, about what happened, about what next.

In my case, I can dream wonderful dreams where no Hollywood movie has ever gone before.

I should really become a movie director. Or perhaps a full time writer.

I guess I might make my own website.

I am good at working for other people, but I think I’ll do better getting something started.

Entrepreneurship, making my blood boil since forever.

Let’s see what happens

I am doing this experiment. Right now, I clicked “write post” without knowing what I wanted to write. This is the reason I’m writing what I’m writing right now.

Maybe it’ll be interesting to see my writing process in written form instead of in my head.

Now I explained myself what I am writing, I have to convince myself, no, not exactly convincing myself, but just do it as I go.

I am really typing non-sense right now. My thought process is really weird. It’s similar to a scattered plot diagram, I would put random dots (thoughts) and put them down. If I see anything that connects, I’ll try and see what picture comes out from it.

Like so, I wonder if I can really put all my thought process in here, because some of it does not make grammatical sense or

Ok, I’m not o going to backspace at all starting now, I don’t care if I ama make spelling mistakes. or grammar ones, if it makes sense, good, if it doesn’t, good luck? don’t judge me for my lack of clarity.

There are also moments when I blank out, and don’t know what exactly I want to type.

I see a cup.

Ok I’m back.

Moments I get distracted like now

I see cologne, and I don’t know why I wanted/began to tilt my head toward my sample sized armani colognes + one big one which I got randomly from someone who was doing a market research proejct who sold me for 20$. I bought that bottle because a girl said, a girl who I met randomly who I already know who is what I consider “an elder”, it smells good on me. That was the 2nd bottle of cologne I ever bought. It’s still a little over 1/3. it’s probably 3/8s.or 4/10? 2/5?

omg

fractions

no

stop

thinking

about

math

dying

slowly

runnnnnnnn

cup

i see a cup

a flashing cup

no I’m not sugar high or have any substance, this is really what I think about

I have a flashing cup I got as a souvenir from a restaurant from Hong Kong and it sits at my right hand side. It’s really pretty, so yeah. I can’t help looking at pretty things.

Shiny things

Things that stand out ot to me

People who stand out from others people to me

Unique people who stand out from others who try to imitate/fulfill other people’s desires of them.

Unique girls are who I like.

Lol

I’m going a dangerous point here

dangerous route

I will keep my promise to not backspace (althought I did backspace an “a” somewhere back there)

electrical tape

why did I ever even bought that

shouldn’t have bought it

oh wait

I did need it

I used to it omg my grammar fix my ue 700 and make the plug more stable

I still have that sports tape for fingers/small injuries

Man I miss playing sports.

There comes a time, for you young people who are younger than me, because I am forever 21 (or less) (or not) eventually I’ll not be 21 just maybe…

I don’t know what I’m writing

I hear clock ticking noises

erg

my head

I still do need to write down my will because you know never will die

when you know

when never you

you never know when

yes

you never know when you’re going to die

it’s good to have a will ready

makes it easier for people who are still on earth

man

i wish i have that ralph lauren black

or acqua di gio, the big one

i a only have sampler

what if i start typing in french?

qu’est-ce que je peux ecrier en francais?

comment je peux ecrier en francais?

est-ce que je ecris correcte?

j hope

j’ai oublie beaucoup de francais

je suis oublie beaucoup de francais quand je n’ai pas pratiquer le

jen’ai pas le pratiquer i meant

it’ll be funny if someone actually understand what i am saying/ thinking

I had another dream yestereday when i was taking a nap before going to eat with a friend, beacuse i was dead tired

it was a dream about land before time with dinosaurs

I’ve had that dream for a long time ago

Except I enhanced the story somehow, it’s like having my own movie in my head

time does move slower in dream.

I remember my dreams from long time ago, and I redream those dreams and enhance the stories.

weird

why am I w even writing

this is probably the crappiest writing i’ve ever wrote for a long time

May be woe one day I will become crazy and retarded and this is what i’ll do, type whatever i think

or i become mute

i hope i don’t become mute

it would be nice to be ta telepathic

easier for me to talk to people because making sense of what i want to say is pretty damn hard

why is that piece of paper there?

what do I do with those toys I used to play with

I think I gotta take off my contacts

Let’s just stop here fro for now

I’ve wrote a little too much for the unsuspecting readers.

It would be fun if people a can really read my mind.

Speaking really holds me back.

Writing takes too much time.

Music takes practice.

Dancing makes me sore + sweat.

lol why is commuunication so hard and so much trouble?

Prayer is so much easier. I can’t use my words, but God knows my heart.

Really, I feel like grunting more than speaking when I talk.

It’s so strenuous and lacking, yet it is the best humans can do, and I being a human can only do that much.

So thankful for the HS who speaks/mediates what my essence says. my being my soul self, that reality enveloped like water/ocean and that wetness that comes from the realization of reality.

what the heck did i just wrote. it’s too hard to explain it when im not really thinking too deeply and with all this interruptions

to fully explain what i just wrote i would have to think on a tangent and come back and go on another tangent and come back and have run ons and fancy cups and keys and other distractions

i really want to burp

it’s bothering me a lot

are is anyone still reading this?

lol

ok i’m done