Chinese, or not Chinese

I just watched this movie called Grandmaster, thankfully it’s actually in Chinese, both Cantonese and Mandarin, with English subs. 

I feel so Chinese

and so unChinese because of all the northern + southern Chinese tradition things I don’t dig. 

I’m just a Hong Kongese that happens to have a mix of American, Thai, Korean, British, French, Japanese culture in me. My body is definitely Chinese but I clearly can’t purely identify myself as homogenous Chinese, but I’m more like a mashup nowadays.

Feels funky.

I wished I took kung-fu lessons.

“But you’re too wild” -said to me by my parentals.

If only I had those lessons, maybe I would have an habit of working out and staying fit and be like Bruce Lee.

I’m definitely making my kids grow up to learn those secret arts.

A story

This story is completely fictional, any resemblance to real life people is mere coincidence.

This is a synopsis I dreamed about.

This story is about a person has a power to steal anything and everything from anyone just by thinking about it, but the one thing he can’t steal is the heart. He is caught because he had his heart stolen and is locked in a keyless cage. Without his heart, he lost his memories, and he slowly become a living corpse.

But one day in what he thought was a dream, he was carried back out into the world by a group of outcasts who wants to overthrow the tyrannical ruler. To get his heart back, he needs to steal the heart of the emperor’s daughter and make it his own. 


Does this sound like a good movie?

I didn’t put any names because I really suck at names.


Today I had a real funky dream. I was in a classroom building, I’m assuming I was in class for something. As I’m exiting the building, someone’s face from my high school appeared and asked me, “Hey are you going to Stanford?” As I’m dreaming, I thought “What? Stanford? Do people really think I’m that smart? I know it’s a dream, I’ll go along with the story.”  So I replied, “Nah I’m going to the community college to take some more classes, save some money.” So I exited out, it was raining. I remember someone and wanted to offer her a ride because I remembered her as a baby so I want to be the good sunbae, but decided against it because it’s too easy for me to lead her on, and I remembered she had a purple umbrella earlier on the day. Then I went to the parking lot, trying to look for my car. I remember it was at the side, but I don’t know how far I parked it. I kept looking for it, but there are lots of red cars, and they’re all Honda, so I got really confused. They all look like my car, especially the ghetto car with a missing rear bumper. But my car was not there.

So I walked in the rain without an umbrella, It became dark, and I walked down the alleyway and then I heard bang and some flash. I thought it was like some kind of electric saw but then I realized, someone was shooting at me. I think I got shot somewhere, but I didn’t feel it because it was a dream. I ran and I kept looking for my car. Then I woke up.


Maybe this blog will become my dream diary one day. As my life ends I will come back and read upon the many things I dreamed about.

One thought of the day, I think I was never pushed to my limits, because if I was pushed to my limits, I would be able to see it by now. There are some ways why this can be: one is I have no limits, two is as I am growing, the limits keep growing, and I haven’t been nearing it, three is I’ve already been to my limit and I didn’t realize it, but I kept growing and I see more free space for me to grow.

It makes sense because it is shown IQ and EQ and whatever quotient used to measure a person’s ability or inability can be improved upon and changed throughout a person’s lifetime.

How do I know I am right though? This is all a figment of my imagination. I am merely hypothesizing based on what I have learned and observed. I would want to do research on this but I am not exactly a psychology major nor have any one curiously enough to find out these types of things. Utility and function are what people who want to make money seek, not random speculations from a random blogger.

Dear reader, what are your limits? How do you know they are real limits and not yourself constraining yourself? How can you trust yourself? How do you know what is right and what is wrong? (I know my own answer to these questions. These are for people to ponder and be creative with)


My dream today

I had some kind of dream with a vampire family that’s auspiciously similar to the one in Twilight. I notice a connection between that story and the Gu Family Book. In both stories, the characters are mythical creatures and supposedly live forever, therefore they are able to amass a grand amount of wealth. 

This leads to the thought of the day: Do people want to live longer to gain wealth or do people want to gain wealth to live longer? Why do people want longevity? 

Some things I thought of is because people have an innate fear of losing everything, although it doesn’t really make sense because babies were born with nothing: even if there is nothing, it would still “break even”; you can’t go less than nothing. 

Something less than nothing, can it be possible? Its existence would make sense if people are afraid of something less than nothing. 

Arithmetically speaking, If we observe a number line, there are positive numbers, and then 0, and then there are negatives, and everything in between is infinite. The possibility exists. It’s just “something less than nothing” is not something clearly tangible while we are still living. 

So I’ll stop there before I stop living, as a favor to those who read this to continue to write random ideas.