It’s been a while, n I should be writing something else….

I am supposed to be writing an astonishing scene right now for my playwriting class. It is pretty easy, but I would actually have to use my imagination. I’ll do it as soon as I finish this post. Writing about what I actually want to write is more enjoyable than having to write stuff that people want me to write.

Anyways, it’s been a long time since I’ve really posted anything. It doesn’t mean my brain stopped working. It just means that I have been unable to get what has been on my mind in an organized form in which I can put it into English words that is comprehensible to the general public, which in this case would be you the reader, if anyone is reading at all.

Has it been 1 week or 2 weeks since I’ve last posted up a real post? I think I forgot the reason why I started to post blogs in the first place.

So many times, I start something, but I forget the reason why I start that something. I guess this post will be about this weakness of mine.

For some reason, I can get really fired up about something. I would be like “Hell Yeah Let’s do it” and some how get distracted and lost the original purpose of what I wanted to do. And so what I wanted to do from the beginning often turn into things that I do not want to do. This expands more past than what I want to do, this goes into what I want in life, what my goals are, what I want to eat, what I want to plan, what I want to write.

Originally, when I logged on to wordpress, I really have no idea what to write about. All I remember is that I should write something, even if it’s crap, since it’s how people become better writers, and I want to become a better writer.

My lack of self-discipline and many distractions + responsibilities dragged me out of blogging for a little bit. Ionno how long this roller coaster ride will keep on going. It’s been going on for a while. For now, I can blog for a little while until I get distracted again, like everything else I do apparently.

This experience again reminds me of how unfocused I am(Is this the word for it?). This is actually pretty sad really. I wanted to write something here again, but I don’t really feel like saying that stuff directly, especially when I’m pretty tired. So I’ll just write some words and if anyone can figure out them meaning behind these words, good for you. If you can’t, just make up some story with these words that will soon follow.

Heart

Freedom

Sake

Tri/Rec/Hexagon,etc

Breaking 없어

Change

Boom

Wall

Step

Then…

Time to go go go

 

Maybe I should try to finish a story that I started in the summer. The original idea for it was great, but I’ve been reading too many narratives and academic writing, so I forgot how dialogues go. I’ll have to do some research before I can start writing… Now good luck to me, cuz I’ll probably put it off because there will always be something else to do. Like making a mix or playing HoN or making Shin Ramyun or do my laundry.

Who am I right now? The past makes me who I am. What about now? The decisions and choices I will have is very confusing. If anyone wants to pray for me, please do. I want to be able to love more. If I really learn to love, I would be able to use that love to focus on what needs to be done, on who needs to be loved, on what my priorities should be.

I really have to finish my scenario, so I’ll go. Later

 

I keep fail blogging over and over again

Why is it so hard to continuously blog?

It’s easy to start to blog, hard to keep blogging. Eventually I would run out of stuff that I want to talk about and would be forcing myself to write crap, like the last post that I posted about. And here I am, tired, sick?, hungry, and writing crap.

I wonder how do people do this? Maybe this can work as a career, but blogging everyday when there is already a lot of stuff on my plate, I’m not so sure about it.

Or maybe this can be an opportunity for me to discipline myself with blogging.

Anyhow, this will be a short post because I am tired and maybe sick.

 

First rain, + rant about the moon

It’s raining

I’m tired

It’s cold

I don’t wanna write.

So this is currently 3:54 am. I took a nice good nap earlier at 4pm – 9pm so it was pretty good.

I think I finally realize how hard is it to just have a nice quiet time to write and to think about my day. So many things happen everyday.

Anyways today I missed my playwriting class cuz my phone alarm died. I was also late to CTU event meeting cuz I only realized it was 12:15 when I woke up, and the meeting was at 12:30. So I just grabbed my pants n keys and went to the meeting. It was a good meeting, only about an hour. Hope it stays that way 😀

After that I went to go to SOAR office with one of my officers to find out about financial stuff + get CTU Constitution. When we got there, there were like a million people, so we decided to just go eat at Cowell.

And then gg

Meatless Monday, and it started raining.

gg

So we walked back and wanna go to a different dining hall

then,

10 BUS

gg

For those of you don’t know, the 10 bus is a magical bus that drops me off right outside my house.

Yes, I like buses very much.

I wonder who reads these things…

So now I am listening to Air on a G String, which is possibly the most relaxing song that I can listen to on repeat all day without getting bored.

 

Now about the moon.

I was on the way to San Jose when I saw the moon. I just kept staring at it for a while. Then when we finally finish eating at food court at Lawrence Plaza, we drove on 880, and I couldn’t see the moon again. I was a bit sad.

I remember when I was a kid, I always look on the moon, whenever I was on a bus, a minibus, or a big 2 story bus. I wonder what people think when they look at the moon. What I remembered I was thinking about what to write for my next rant, and decided to write something about the moon.

Isn’t the moon pretty?

How many different people are staring at the moon with me at that time? Oh how I wonder. What are they thinking when they stare at the moon?

I think you readers would notice that this post is a little different than the posts before. This post is more random than usual because I don’t really want to write right now, and I’m already 4 hours past the deadline anyways. So I am just spewing random stuff as my mind works and listening to classical music.

So from this post and the posts before, you can see that I really like buses, and now y’all know I like the moon. I like it because it’s shiny, yet it’s not too shiny in a way that would hurt me, like the sun. I am free to stare at the moon all day and wouldn’t blind my eyes. This is why I like the night better. The sun hurts me. The moon is so much more comfortable and relaxing to look at.

Maybe I should just write a poem about the moon.

Moon – by Hin Mak

End

Ookay, not a good idea.

I think I’ll just end here, since it’s too hard to write in 4 in the morning. I don’t even know how I can write that much.

Oh happy birthday Krispy

I wonder how much I changed, and how much I didn’t change.

If no one is perfect, in theory, there should be unlimited potential to change for the better, or for the worst.

I wonder how much I changed for the better.

If anything, I will have to thank God for what he’s done for me. The people I met, the opportunities that I’ve had, the opportunities that I haven’t had, the events that influence my life, the sadness, the happiness, my unique parents, my unique family, my unique friends. Everything is special to me. As I look at the moon, I remember to appreciate the changes that I’ve gone through, from my childhood, to now. As I am almost 21, I feel like I have to look back, just a little, so I don’t change back to what I was.

I feel like I still don’t know myself completely yet. So I’ll just trust God with that, cuz He knows me better than anyone else, and He got the plan of my life all ready for me. I don’t exactly know where I am going, cuz I am extremely tired and don’t know what the heck I’m writing. That Menuetto just knocked out my thought process cuz it’s such a familiar sound that I used to play on the violin. Even though I don’t play violin anymore, I kinda wish I can get it back, if it’s God’s will to give me time and inspiration to go back to violin. Probably not this year though, I’ll be so busy.

omg…

i know what i want

i want to go KARAOKE NAO

aite later

oh i remember what i was gonna write about the moon now, i will do it tomorrow, i mean today.

 

 

 

 

 

So I failed one day… and a bus ride to the past

I was supposed to post yesterday, but after practicing sports out in the shiny sun, I was deeply exhausted. And I finally finished watching Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Extended Version last night. I also ate Kimchi Pasta made by some friends. It was a good night.

Anyways

On to the bus driver.

I honestly forgot what I was going to write about the bus driver. So here I am, making stuff up as I go since I did write that I will write about bus drivers.

Bus drivers are awesome.

Bus rides are even more awesome.

End of story.

I remember that bus rides were an integrate part of my AP US History teacher’s high school life. He used to ditch school and just go on bus rides all day. Every time now whenever I go on a bus ride, I try to think about what he is thinking. I think I understand why he likes to ride buses. You can meet/spy/see the strangest people on the bus. The bus is a nice peaceful place where you can relax.

I know it can get crowded and stuff. But when next time y’all on a bus, try to stare at people. People will try to avoid your gaze. It’s really funny. If we were children, we would point and stare at strange people without holding back.  Why is it as we grow older, we lose that instinct to do what we want to do? Is it the “law of society” that everyone has to uphold? Is it the same reason why we go to college?

I’m gonna connect the bus riding experience with why people do certain things.

People do things because they are conditioned to think and do things as society tells them.

But what if the society itself is wrong?

Then what can a person do to break out of this tyrannic rule of “law of society”? For example, as kids, we are told not to point and stare, even when people are acting strange. Usually when people act strangely, there’s some kind of problem. So as kids, people are conditioned to ignore such problems. (A small example is if people see someone with a booger hanging out of their nose, people wouldn’t really tell them.) So now as the people that we elected are abusing their powers, people are just “meh” about it. People are not taking action, even though many of the actions are against the “consent of the governed”, as the Declaration of Independence has once stated.

So now about college, why do people go to college? To get a better education, to invest in life, to get a good life experience, to network, to make friends, to develop spiritually, to learn what their talents are, to find their soul mate, etc…. I’m pretty sure there are many reasons for people to go to college.

But one of the main reasons for people going to college, is the idea that “if you don’t have a degree, you won’t get a good job.” That is true and untrue at the same time. This is my fourth year in college, and as I go to class, do the assignments, go through the college routine, I honestly think college itself is something made up by people for purposes other than raising new young leaders for our society. I would write more on this, but I need to think about this first. My opinion can change. I haven’t reached a conclusion about college yet.

When I do, I will send an e-mail to my APUSH teacher. Why? Cuz as the 2nd semester of high school in my third year closed to an end. He asked us to remember his email address, so when we graduate college, we can send him a email and see how his students are doing.

I had a nice conversation with him. Everyone in our class did. I think after that class, this is maybe what he thought of me. It could be something else. But when he asked me, what is most important for me right now? I answered love. So it would make sense for him to write something about this.

I see the romantic kid who is bright but uninterested in challenging
his intellect. Instead, he waits… he waits to be awakened.
Unfortunately, his waiting will be in vain. Intelligence is an
intrinsic force. But maybe the student doesn’t want to expand his
mind. Maybe he is looking, at this time, to just expand his heart…

The above quote was from his farewell email.

And I agree with him. The me that was bright but uninterested in challenging my intellect. There wasn’t really anything to challenge my intellect with during high school. All I wanted to do was music. Because I am perfect pitch and I want to maximize my talent in music. I also had a very long lasting crush on this girl, I was very looking to expand my heart.

Now… I don’t know. Sure I can love, but I don’t see anyone that can love me back. I will just be a sucker who dumps his time and money if I fall for anyone, so right now, I don’t really care about any girls. I would rather be closer friends with them than being anyone too special. Being in a relationship will also take up a lot more of my time. Until I graduate, I doubt I will get any girlfriend, it doesn’t matter if she’s 10 out of 10 and jumps on me. I don’t give a damn. (Okkk maybe I do give a damn, but I would go “you love nothing more than a thought and a dream” and go “I cannot give you what you desire”. Kudos to Aragorn son of Arathorn.

This teacher is right about the waiting part too. I am so bored. There’s nothing to challenge me. Everything is so routine, so “standardized”, like a factory production line. This is the same way I feel about college too. It’s just a more specialized factory production line. But I’m so bored… Even music is boring, they make it so factory like it’s retarded.

How can one break out of this factory chain?

But anyways that question involve serious thinking. Instead of answering that question, I will just say that I will have to challenge myself since nothing else can challenge me.

So here I am writing this blog about bus drivers.

Now wasn’t that a great story?

*Cue Reading Rainbow ~music F4 A4b C4 A4b